we are the dead.

nosaereno @ 2009-12-01T21:44:00

2009-12-02T02:44:19Z

got a knack for the lonely.

nosaereno @ 2009-08-19T22:19:00

2009-08-20T02:20:05Z

athens resident for 1 year as of a few days ago. it's flown by; wtf.

nosaereno @ 2009-08-15T23:08:00

2009-08-16T03:24:06Z

once, 9-11-03, a girl made me a mixtape and i swore that id return the favor, but then i lost her address. i just found the tape.

track list:
side a*
neutral milk hotel - "two headed boy"
adult - "suck the air"
bitchin - "some of my fav. badasses"
rocky votolato - "secrets of a sailsman/suicide machine"
deathcab for cutie - "charming man" smiths cover
nukkekoti - "el koskaan anteeski/ nyt ma menen"
defiance, ohio - "kathleen are you angry?"
unbroken - "love will tear us apart" joy division cover
red house painters - "have you forgotten"
nymb - "if only rock n roll would date me"
skanfrom - "my new 7inch"

side b*
delta dart - "half hearted storm"
bankok impact - "crowdpleaser"
songs ohia - "captain badass"
rumbleseat - "restless"
the kills - "gypsy death and you"
zyklone - "people die"
figurine - "way too good"
undying - "echoes"
with honor - "to believe"
skeeter davis - "end of the world"
arab strap - "bis"
del ceilo - "five dollars wasted"
totalitar - "du ar status du"

man this is an old tape. man im terrible at returning favors. ugh.

nosaereno @ 2009-03-25T18:50:00

2009-03-25T22:58:58Z

im sick. reading Founding Faith. just bought Redneck Zombies and High Tension. going back to look for Still Reigning dvd. i owe indiana 402 dollars in taxes. new band is doing well and doing some extended weekend shows. saw pipe bomb and rekindled friendships. hate my job and am thinking of quitting in a very loud dramatic way. im a npr addicted now, pour some out for news and notes. been fantasizing of become a recluse and starting a huge private park in the delta. its been fucking beautiful outside.

nosaereno @ 2008-11-25T21:18:00

2008-11-26T02:19:14Z

uh. im an uncle.

albums.

2008-11-14T15:30:38Z

watched the forbidden zone last night, it totally ruled.

i didn't do the favorite songs, but i did do my favorite albums, here they are.

my timeless classics (sentimental and/or fucking amazing still):

Dillinger Four - Midwestern Songs of America
Misfits - Legacy of Brutality
Minor Threat - Discography
MXPX - Life in General
Scared of Chaka - Tired of You/Masonic Youth
Ramones - End of the Century
Built to Spill - Keep it like a Secret
Descendants - Somery
Rancid - ..And out come the wolves/Let's Go

badass and deserve to be mentioned (got the jams):

Marked Men - On The Outside
Diamond Nights - s/t
Exploding Hearts - Guitar Romantics
The Insides - Endangered Youngins
Dead Kennedys - Give me Convience or Give me Death
Japanther - Scuffed Up My Huffy
Modern Life is War - Witness
This Bike is a Pipe Bomb - Dance Party with..
Poison Idea - Feel the Darkness
Reigning Sound - Too Much Guitar
almost anything John Reis does.
Dead Milkmen - Beelzebubba
The Bananas - A Slippery Subject

these lists are shitty and are always being edited. if you want a mix tape/cdr i have the means and the motivation, test me.

you know im going to tag you, brasher.

nosaereno @ 2008-11-05T02:07:00

2008-11-05T07:09:23Z

yes i voted for obama. yes i called everyone on my fonoe to congratu late them on his win. yea im drunk. i hope obama does some good. he's a goddamn god man. as is ee so far.

"leaxie, you are voting fo r my family," say s my mexican friend.

well, we won yo u fucking basrard.

nosaereno @ 2008-09-25T01:39:00

2008-09-25T05:56:55Z

I've been living in Athens, Ga for close to a month. It is what every new move is..an adjustment. Things are going well. I'm getting settled. I've got a kitchen job..which I'm starting to hate. That's normal. I'm slowly getting my room unpacked..bought some shelves which emptied three boxes. About a week ago, I broke my glasses..now I have new frames with an updated prescription, excellent. My drums are at the hanger practice space; I practice everyday, thats new. I guess because I don't know many people here and I'm not smothered by sadness, I've been fairly productive. Productive in the sense of getting ideas onto paper. I'm about to do a few wheat pastes at the hanger. Then moving out to the train yard and hopefully downtown. I'm doing a hilarious serious of KITH faces, 3 or 4 layered stencils. I'll also keep on with the marker drawn paste ups too. LOTS OF HUGE TOOTHBRUSHES GOING UP.

I'm working on a mixed media piece as well. stoked.

I'm about to buy a digital camera..just a decent quality point and shoot. I'm going to minimize my writing here...and just show you guys with pictures.

I hope everyone is well.
Get in touch.

I have the interwebs now, but let's start some tangible interactions..so when I don't have the internet..I can look for the things you send me.
my address:
559 Pulaski St Apt E
Athens, Ga 30601
make, send, receive.

nosaereno @ 2008-08-01T00:33:00

2008-08-01T04:51:09Z

im sitting im my house that in less than 12 hours will be someone else's. im in a house that for some people when they pass by..will have a recollected memory about. weird.

in less than 12 hours i will have to move this computer im typing on. ive got a few possessions scattered on the floor. a computer...with the tower on the floor..the monitor sitting stably on a huge stereo speaker...the mouse on a stool and the keyboard on my lap. my roommates are all off in their new houses, their rooms completely empty of any sign of their person. when i call for pete..his name echoes in his room. when i walk through the living room..i think of the hilarious times i had with my friends. when i step on the porch i think of the countless hours i spent watching bloomington walk/bike/drive by. i think of the shitty winter. i think of my unproductive year. i think of my empty hands. i think of my sunken heart and i look forward to seeing the positives of my new opportunities.

ive got a lot to do. a fridge to empty. bags of trash to be taken to the road. tickets to buy for those bags of trash.

when i get off of work i'll be walking to wherever im staying.., definitely to feel displaced. i'll be going to someone's living room to sleep..not to my room. damn.

im going to miss a few select things about bloomington,..those fucking things..they pull so hard at my heart. im glad i can find something good in my being here. i was afraid i wouldn't, but i did.

nosaereno @ 2008-05-27T13:38:00

2008-05-27T17:46:39Z

instructions on how to shower at my house.

things you'll need:
quick and easy clean
1 large pot
1 large pitcher
1 cup

or for the

deluxe clean
2 large pots
2 large pitchers
1 cup

instructions:

1. fill both pots with water and set them on the stove. turn the dial to high. wait about 5 minutes or until there's a little steam coming off the water. put your hand in..is it bearable? if so, let it get hotter.
2. once water is uncomfortable to the touch, pour half of it into one of the pitchers.
3. fill the rest of the pot and pitcher with cold water.
4. repeat steps with second pot.

and yea, this is how ive been showering for the last two months. with the occasional shower at a friends house. its pretty shitty, but not really that bad. got to get the gas cut back on.

muh muxtape, gawh.

2008-05-15T18:12:13Z

trexie.mustape.com

nosaereno @ 2007-12-28T13:41:00

2007-12-28T18:46:17Z

while looking at digital cameras i constantly have to remind myself that, its not the size of your dick, but what you do with it. 39 megapixels? seriously, 33,000 dollars for a camera. who pays for this shit?

ive been told the 5D is pretty fucking nice. a grand for just a body is still just too steep for me. hrm.

something simple, something nice. something i can use with instant results. sounds like a 500 dollar range for me. sorry hasselblad, sorry canon 5D..im not looking to stretch my asshole just yet.

nosaereno @ 2007-12-23T11:01:00

2007-12-23T15:32:57Z

not much has been happening. i graduated college two weeks ago. hung out with family and did the christmas exchanging early because my brother and i won't be home for the actual holiday. unfortunately because i took off for graduation, i didn't think it was fair that i try take off extra days for christmas. i would have been low on the totem pole regardless. and i need the money. not that im making money, i just have rent and bills due. saving money at this point is a laughable...drinkable thought. i couldn't afford presents this year, so my brother and i cleaned my parents house incredibly. it was probably way better than the kitchen appliance i would have bought them had my wallet been stacked.

its too bad about going home. i know a lot of people are coming in town and i hate that i won't be able to hang around them. a much needed hello will be sadly missed. but ive got some ideas...like a canoeing/reunion trip this spring in arkansas or wherever a central location for us all is.
-------
when i got home from cleveland, my computer had crashed. the power supply went out. its a semi inexpensive repair that hopefully will be here when its estimated, january 3rd. i went ahead and bought some memory so i could open TWO photos in photoshop. what a blessing not to have to sit in front of a computer that grunts like an old man.

speaking of photoshop, i'm officially in the market for a digital camera. i am SO excited. if i could just get this light meter sold and a new, cheaper "stripped down the basics" one bought, i'll have a decent arsenal of useable cameras. i haven't done much of anything art related since ive moved to bloomington, but ive just found out that one of my coworkers is a photographer too...so being around someone will help my motivation.

i blame loss of motivation on moving to a new place. its like getting a new book of pictures; you want to exhaust its newness immediately before you can set it aside and move on to something new. being in a new town, you look for the common routine that becomes a safe place and in turn allows you to venture out. adventuring can be dizzying and without somewhere to go to that makes you comfortable, it can make you sick and feel lost. at least thats how it is for me.

but whatever, things are getting very familiar here for me. i get a little bummed out, but its nothing good company or a pep talk in the shower can't resolve.

hope everyone has a good holiday.

nosaereno @ 2007-11-24T22:11:00

2007-11-25T03:22:12Z

i pulled a muscle in my right arm almost two weeks ago. playing drums is fucking tough. i can't hit too hard or extend my arm fully making my fills almost impossible and i lose some volume. it sucks because it hurts real bad to do much of anything with that arm, and im sure constantly putting it under stress doesn't help the healing process. totally fucking lame.

i'll just focus on learning some new techniques. turn this set back into a blessing, goddamnit.

i'll stretch and then im through with tonight since my arm is pulsating with pain right now.

nosaereno @ 2007-11-17T22:45:00

2007-11-18T03:45:24Z

woo. party time.

nosaereno @ 2007-10-16T23:59:00

2007-10-17T05:03:04Z

i built my loft, also known as "Mount Nevagetfuckt", too high. sitting up, im centimeters from the ceiling. its massive and impressive, but completely impractical for sleeping purposes. here's to me for making sleeping difficult again. god..i keep looking back at it while im typing this and it looks so ridiculous.

im sleeping on that bastard tonight. its not screwed to the wall yet, so its still a little rickety...but ive got to live dangerously, you know.

tomorrow i will be chopping several inches off the legs.

bloomington is alright. i mean, its as good as any place can be when you first move to it. i know some people, but not enough....but im getting there. everything can't happen overnight. ive settled into my job at the same time as i started to hate it. got to love that. it does have its perks, but i think im going to see what other options i have. i guess what i really miss is having someone to confide in. someone who's megatight. i've just got to form my crew..my "wanna get lunch today"..or "lets do something rad today"...or "i was bored, so i came over" or "lexie, its time for you to get out" friends. im definitely missing that part of cleveland i left. not having those types of friends makes living in a new town even more strange and empty, as dumb as that sounds.

but really, how much adventuring out can you do alone thats as enjoyable as when you have a good friend tagging along? it gets pretty boring after a while or rather the newness becomes too much to take in all at once which makes everything feel overly routine and it numbs out any positive feeling about being in a new place. a common thought is, "when am i going home?" and "when is this over?". sometimes i'll take a ride and i'll have the thought "this is my life now" and it depresses me to no end because im associating my "new beginning" with the loneliness of making new friends, trying to make new friends.

what adds to making this all worse is that i haven't really felt up to going out and doing things yet. i don't know..i'll shake it all off, and at some point i'll meet some new people and i'll be back to my chatty cathy ways.

i hate thinking that im being so negative. i do feel that ive been looking at my time in bloomington pretty negatively. i've got to start looking at what i have and not at what i don't. i guess what im really trying to say is that i really like being away, but im ready for my new residence to feel more like a home. im stoked on bloomington, even though at times im pretty bummed out on it...but its cool, i give myself pep talks in the shower.

i get pessimistic about shit some times, but i really like that im the one telling myself that shits not all that bad.

here are some things i can do to make shit better for myself:
1. secure some studio space somewhere. i've got to get back in the darkroom. nothing makes me more depressed than feeling nonproductive. cleaning house and building shit will not cut it anymore. i mean, its tight that i do shit during the day that doesn't include watching movies or playing video games, but its not satisfying enough.

so first on my list, check out the Waldron Art Center.

2. paying my speeding ticket. i've been putting this off and its not a good idea. i just haven't had the money yet. tickets suck..im going to start driving like a grandpa from now on.

-----------------

awesome, im tired.

nosaereno @ 2007-10-01T09:45:00

2007-10-01T14:19:06Z

i just had two really bad dreams consecutively. here they are.

1st shitty dream.

my brother has a really bad addiction to crack. he's basically homeless because he's sold everything he has to buy crack. we have a forced intervention and make him go to rehab. he gets really fucking clean with a healthy out look on life and they let him out. some time goes by, and life goes back to normal.

(time lapse)

the family plans a cross country train ride. my mom, dad, me, and a few other satellite family members are standing on a platform waiting on the train that doug is going to come in on. waiting and waiting. nothing. no train no brother.

(insert mindbender)

i see my brother crouched down, leaning with his back against a chain-link fence. its dark outside, but there is still a little light left from the day, but not enough to see lots of details. he lights his little hitter and you can see he is all mangled by drug use, large untrimmed beard and hair, and then he narrates, "im doug, and one day i will change my life..." and he goes on to say some more shit about his crack addiction and how he left his family and choose to live a life in seclusion to do drugs.

so at this point it becomes apparent to me that both my family and doug were being filmed for a documentary, because when i see my brother, im watching it on a tv screen..so its like the closing of a movie im watching. the kicker is that im just finding out what happened to my brother who stood me up at the train station a couple of years before. so it was basically fucked, and i was fucking crying in my dream. then i woke up and i had scooted down the bed almost halfway.

the second shitting dream just reaffirmed that i should always keep my temper and emotions in check. just because someone does something to you thats totally fucked up, doesn't give you the "go ahead" on taking it to the next level. the last dream sucked a lot, and i don't remember enough of it to write the story, but the jist of it was, i overreacted to someone doing something shitty to me. i blew up in front of a large crowd and everyone saw what i did and i could see how shocked they were..so i saw how unacceptable my behavior was and i felt like shit...and felt that i needed to seek profession help to control my anger.

then i woke up and again..felt like shit.

busted.

i was born on a rollercoaster ride.

2007-09-06T14:19:26Z

favorite ramones songs, in order of best to not the best but still fucking amazing:

oh oh i love her so.
come on now.
bonzo goes to bitberg.
this aint havana.
i just want something to do.
the job that ate my brain.
swallow my pride.
howlin at the moon.
53rd and 3rd.
mama's boy.
you're gonna kill that girl.
the return of jackie and judy.
life's a gas.
havana affair.
too tough to die.
planet earth 1988.
wart hog.
she's the one.
glad to see you go.
the crusher.
take the pain away.
animal boy.

the list could go on and on. maybe one day when im bored again i'll do their entire discography.

as tired as i am, i think thats about it. i love all the live albums. even the ones where they play all fucked up. the few times joey introduces songs rules.

joey: "yeaaaa. are you guys gonna join me on this next tune? its a singgg ah loong, kiddies. MAMA'S BOY, YEA!"
dee dee: "....1,2,3,4."

nosaereno @ 2007-09-06T06:05:00

2007-09-06T10:05:41Z

im a total idiot.

nosaereno @ 2007-08-26T23:58:00

2007-08-27T04:13:07Z

624 washington street
bloomington, indiana 47401

a postcard.
a picture.
a print.
a sloppy letter.

anything in my mail box from good friends would be awesome. i will write you back. ive been working on linoleum woodblocks and will gladly send you a print, or will craft a fancy postcard. something short and sweet so we both know we're thinking about each other.

bloomington is real nice. my house is tight..i can't keep my room clean, but thats obvious. im going to post some pictures tomorrow...kind of like a mini tour via digital media so we all don't feel so far apart. joni sent me a stereo, thank you so much...im playing tv on the radio right now. i work at a burrito place right now. i work with two of my roommates and all the people i work with are very awesome. we hang out and get smashed together.

last night i was really drunk and walking down the street telling hawt girls that they should wear condoms because herpes is after them. i also told everyone happy birthday.

one reason has been writing new songs. what we're working on is so tight. its really nice to be finally playing music again. its been too fucking long.

my phone is busted. like its not working at all. so step it up on those postcards and letters.

i might be coming to cleveland for octoberfest. we should hang out.

nosaereno @ 2007-08-03T12:58:00

2007-08-03T17:58:34Z

i got way too drunk last night so it looks like i won't be leaving until tomorrow. you motherfuckers.

nosaereno @ 2007-07-31T17:29:00

2007-07-31T22:33:38Z

alright, so i leave friday. im thinking in the morning, but im not sure because ive been procrastinating with a bunch of work ive got to get done.

75% done with packing.

100% not done with printing, but thats going to change tonight.

water is good.

nosaereno @ 2007-07-19T00:47:00

2007-07-19T05:48:42Z

"...besides i was joking. it can't be considered a date when she goes home to her fiancé."

nosaereno @ 2007-06-25T00:58:00

2007-06-25T06:00:43Z

spazz is good. i was going to post a pretty long sad entry about this weekend and my feelings about it all, but im not. at least not right now.

but yea, spazz..pretty fucking great. especially the song sesos. 22 seconds, perfect.

nosaereno @ 2007-06-16T11:14:00

2007-06-16T16:15:17Z

i think angelfuck is my favorite misfits song.